PHO - Roy Choi

 If you’re at a gambling table, nothing is better than a bowl of pho. I don’t know if it’s the fact that you’re nervous, that you’ve been sitting for hours, that endorphins are bouncing around inside you, that your soul is being emptied, dripping and dripping away . . . but eating a hot bowl of pho, tableside, cards in one hand, chopsticks in the other—well, it’s the most delicious food you can eat right at that moment. It’ll help you shed any feelings of insecurity and grow you the pair you need to take on your opponents.

Eat fast and ferocious. Snorting helps.

SERVES AT LEAST 6

THE BROTH

10 pounds beef bones, rinsed and soaked in cold water for 2 hours, then drained

2 onions, unpeeled, halved

1 bunch scallions

2 big stalks fresh ginger, unpeeled

2 cups garlic cloves, peeled

1 cup star anise

½ cup coriander seeds

½ cup black peppercorns

1 cup beef base

1 big heavy handful of cilantro stems, leaves reserved for garnish

Salt and freshly ground black pepper

THE REST (AMOUNTS UP TO YOU)

Rice noodles, prepared according to package directions

Onion, thinly sliced

Scallion, minced

Fresh Thai basil leaves

Limes, cut in half

Bean sprouts, washed

Sriracha

Hoisin sauce

Fresh cilantro leaves

Rare filet mignon, sliced

Put the beef bones in a big pot and add enough water to cover the bones. There should be at least 3 gallons of liquid in the pot.

On a grill or in a sauté pan over medium heat, char the onions, scallions, and ginger, using little to no oil, until they’re blackened but not burned.

Heat the pot with the bones over medium-high heat, then add the charred vegetables, garlic, star anise, coriander, peppercorns, beef base, cilantro stems, and some salt and pepper. Bring to a full boil, then lower the heat to simmer. Let simmer for 3 hours, constantly skimming foam off the surface.

Check for flavor, adjust the seasonings, and drain the broth through a large sieve, discarding the solids. You can keep this broth in your refrigerator for 2 days or freeze it for the future.

To assemble the pho, place the rice noodles in a bowl. The noodles should be soft and at a tepid temperature. Pour the hot broth over the noodles and garnish as you please. If you wanna do like me, then add everything to the bowl.

EAT WITH FRIENDS,

SHOES OFF, ONE FOOT

ON THE CHAIR, KNEE UP,

SLURPING LIKE YOU DON’T

CARE ABOUT EMILY POST.